


Shooting for Constellations

by misslou



Category: Original Work
Genre: Crimes & Criminals, England (Country), Eventual Romance, F/M, Murder, Original Character(s), POV First Person, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-13
Updated: 2015-05-13
Packaged: 2018-03-30 09:32:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3931816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misslou/pseuds/misslou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A young girl left her life behind due to a violent murder she committed against her own family. While travelling abroad, she runs into an unlikely boy, who she can't help but get close to. She can't seem to get past the guilt, but can she officially leave behind her old life, and replace it with a new one?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shooting for Constellations

I pressed my cheek against the cold window of the airplane. The swirling lights of the outside air traffic made my head hurt more than it already was. I felt my breath shuddering as it left my body, leaving fog on the window. There was nobody sitting next to me, and I prayed that it would last. I was currently numb, and my stomach continued to flip inside of me as I watched countless people walk past me. 

This plane ticket took most of my remaining money. I would be left at the airport once I got where I’m going with no money, home, or family. I felt my chest ache, but tried my best to forget about what would happen on the other side. Right now, I was safe. 

Yeah. _Safe._

I closed my eyes, feeling my legs twitch due to the cold air conditioner pouring onto my exposed skin. I was able to get a few moments of calamity before someone moved into my isle. He stayed in the isle, thankfully, and pulled out a book before even casting a glance in my direction. I wrapped my arms around my body, trying my best to surround myself with warmth and comfort. I was uncomfortable, knowing how messy and frayed my hair was. I wasn’t able to wash it after what I’d done. I was scared that evidence was still hanging on it. 

The pilot’s crackling voice came over the loudspeaker. I was thankful that the doors were closing, and that the world as I knew it was being left behind me. I let myself melt into the voice of the pilot explaining emergency procedures, and felt my blood rise with anticipation of getting into the air. I refused to look out the window until my familiar world was gone. 

When the pilot finished, I adjusted myself in the seat. I tucked my legs in the chair, trying to get as warm as possible. The man in the isle had put his bags in the middle seat, leaving me confined to a small corner next to the window. I didn’t mind, though. My eyes ached for sleep, but my heart was beating too fast to allow it. 

The cabin lights were turned off, and the flight attendants made their way to their stations for take off. I used to love flying in airplanes, but right now, I wanted it to be over as fast as possible. My face was burning, so I pressed it to the window in an effort to cool it down. My heart lurched as I felt the plane begin to back out of the gate, and away from any connection to my world. 

The plane was led to it’s position on the runway, where the engines revved and it began to go full speed ahead down the asphalt. I tightly closed my eyes, feeling my stomach rise into my throat as the plane tilted upwards, inhaling it’s first breath of the sky. I quickly saw the land disappear, it being replaced with the cold nighttime sky and the moonlight glistening on the wings. 

I let out a breath of relief, but that relief was short-lived. The anxiety of unknowingness, and fear, set in as I began to try and think about what I was going to do when I landed. I would know nobody, and have nothing. Where was I going to sleep? What was I going to eat? All I had in my wallet was one hundred dollars. I had my sister’s ID, since mine was cut up and thrown into my fireplace, and a necklace I had taken from my mother’s jewelry box before leaving. I knew the necklace was there, but I didn’t want to look at it. I began to question why I even brought it with me. 

The cabin was dark, and most people pulled down their window covers before resting their heads back and falling asleep. The flight was going to be long, and the in-flight TV’s were playing animal documentaries. I shut my eyes, resting my head against the cold window, and shivering as I fought against the cold. 

The man in the isle put away his book, and took out a neck pillow. I could see him glance at me as he pulled the pillow out of his bag. Through the darkness, I could see the concern on his face. I stayed still and tried to ignore his watching eyes. 

“Ma’am?” 

My heart began to beat louder as I heard the man try to get my attention. Does he know? Oh god, does he know what I did? 

I turned my head halfway, glancing downwards at his feet. “Y-yes?” I stammered, even though I tried my best not to. Trying to seem as calm and collected as possible only made me more anxious and nervous. 

“Would you want to use my neck pillow?” 

I fully turned my head, meeting his gentle gaze as he handed the pillow in my direction. My eyes were wide, and my breathing was heavy, but I was perplexed by this man. 

I realized I hadn’t said anything when the man talked again. “Ma’am?” he asked, his head tilting a bit. The moonlight from outside of the plane window was outlining the sides of his face. 

I thought about his offer. I thought that maybe the pillow would provide some sort of soft comfort from my cold, hardened world. It was a small gesture, but I didn’t have anything else but a cold wall to lean against. I opened my mouth to talk. 

“Are you sure?” I asked quietly, my voice just above a whisper. It hurt to talk, but I tried my best to make myself seem as worry-free as possible. 

The man smiled, reaching out his arm further. I gave a weak half-smile, reaching out my cold fingers to take the pillow from his grasp. He watched in gentle curiosity as I fixed it around my neck and leaned backwards. It was soft, and warm, which was what I really needed at that moment. I felt my muscles relax, and my eyes close. 

“What’s your name?” 

My eyes opened abruptly, and flashed towards the man who was leaning over his arm rest. I couldn’t stop looking at his eyes. His eyes were comforting like an old friend, and they were rounded in curiosity. I dwelled on his question. I wasn’t dare going to say my real name, not after tonight. I was a new identity. I was my sister, now. 

“Arabella,” I murmured, my sister’s name rolling off of my tongue. “But I go by Bella.” 

The man smiled. “Arabella,” he repeated, smiling as he repeated the name that didn’t belong to me. He almost seemed to recite the name, as if it was a work of poetry. “Arabella,” he said again, this time a whisper, caressing the silence of the cabin. 

I nodded, a nervous smile appearing on my lips. I shivered, half due to cold, and half due to anxiety. “A-and you?” I asked back as my eyes met his again. 

“Ben,” he answered. “Well, Benjamin, but I go by Ben.” 

I smiled. Not a nervous, forced smile, but a smile caused by amusement. It was the first real smile I had emitted in several days. 

My eyes burned from the fact that I hadn’t slept in days. I felt my eyelids get heavier, but nothing could bring me to close my eyes. I might miss something important if I did, or might miss a glance of the outside world that I’ll never get again if I get locked up. 

“Why are you travelling?” 

I looked back at Ben, my smile fading into pursed lips. I was stuck on what to say for several moments, as I opened my mouth and emitted no words. 

The man grinned. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to,” he said quietly, trying his best not to break the silence too much. “I’m going to sightsee.” 

“Me too,” I said. That seemed predictable, an American going overseas to sightsee. It would’ve helped if I had a change of clothes, money, and transportation. 

“How long are you staying?” Ben asked. I was getting overwhelmed by all the pointless questions this stranger was asking me. The sad part was, that I had no answers to any of them. 

“I don’t know,” I replied, because I truly didn’t. “I don’t know anything.” 

“Anything?” Ben asked. “What do you mean by that?” 

I sighed, wishing I would’ve never kept up the conversation. I could’ve pretended to be mute or something to get out of this. I couldn’t tell anything remotely to the truth, and I would have to evade these questions skillfully. 

“Anything where I’m staying or what I’m doing.” I said vaguely, telling a part of the truth. I didn’t want this man’s sympathy, and I could feel it coming. 

“Do you have a place to stay?” the man pressed, the concern in his eyes enough to drive me crazy. 

I sighed. “No.” 

“I could let you stay with me, if you want.” 

I looked at him, clenching my teeth. I needed to be alone, not with some guy I had just started talking to on a plane. I needed to be anonymous; off the radar. I needed to shoot him down and tell him to shut up. I needed to have absolutely no allies in this new place. I needed to start new. 

I was about to reject his offer when something new crossed my mind. This man thinks I’m someone else. If authorities ever track me down, he can save my life. I can be the missing girl, and my sister can be alive and well. This could make me, or break me, and I had to make a decision. 

Staying with this stranger would be better than sleeping on the streets. 

“I don’t even know you.” I replied, my mouth going dry. 

Ben nodded his head, looking down a bit, then back up at me. “I know, I’m just trying to make you have a place to stay. You can think about it, but know I’m willing to take you with me.” 

I smiled a genuine smile. “Thanks, Ben.”

Ben smiled, sitting back in his seat. “Anytime, Bella.”

Stiffening, I moved my head back towards the window. I could feel Ben’s lingering gaze heavy on the back of my head. My mind was spinning, and I could feel my headache returning. The lulling sound of the cabin whirred in my ear, and I counted pulses in it’s steady drone. 

I think I fell asleep. 

I didn’t fall into the deep, dark sleep that everyone wishes for at the end of the day. I fell into a wide-eyed, unconscious state. I knew I was asleep because I could no longer hear my thoughts, and my mind was replaced with a void of static and blackness. My eyes remained open, and my breathing was shallow. 

It was a kind of sleep I had never experienced before.

* * *

I was pulled back into reality when the pilot came over the loudspeaker, announcing that the plane was about thirty minutes from the runway. The sudden realization of coming back down to earth began to frighten me. What if my escape wasn’t as seamless as I thought, and they knew I was coming here? I had this whole grand idea to start my life over, but was it as easy as I thought? 

I looked over at Ben, who was reading his book in the morning sun peeking through the airplane windows. Yawning, I opened my window cover and took a peek at the dawning world outside. The sky was a sponge-sugar pink, and pastel clouds were strewn below the wings of the plane. The sunlight dazzled on the wings, reflecting light just like the moon had done during the night. I exhaled slowly, closing the window cover and trying to relax my muscles. 

Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Ben close his book, and look towards me. “Good morning,” he murmured quietly. His voice was strained, and I could tell he had been sleeping, or at least trying to. 

I met his glance, pursing my lips slightly. “You too.” I replied, holding my cold hands together. Even as I looked away, Ben’s eyes remained glued on to me. I didn’t know why he was doing this. I didn’t want his attention, yet the way he looked at me made me feel so comforted. It was like someone actually wanted to know me, and be in my presence. 

“How’d you sleep?” Ben asked. 

I shrugged. “I didn’t,” I replied, my voice low. “I tried to, but I couldn’t.”

Ben relaxed his shoulders, looking back in front of him at the cabin, infiltrated with morning light. There was a strange sense of calmness in the plane. It was something about experiencing a morning above the clouds, being served airplane food for breakfast and all the sounds being blended into the _whirr_ of the cabin. 

I stiffened as the plane made a sharp turn to the right. I felt that it was sharp, nonetheless, as the wing tilted downwards and it felt like I was on a steep incline. I could see the tip of the wing disappear into the clouds, and I could see bits of white dance across of it. The plane ran into a bit of turbulence as it dove beneath the clouds. Once beneath, I could see the dreary grayness of the sky, and how different it was compared to the world above. 

The clouds were thick, throwing the plane around quite a bit, and it looked like rain was about to pour at any moment. I glanced downwards out the window and saw land. Foreign land. 

_English_ land. 

Taking a sharp inhale of breath, I looked back in front of me. Passengers were beginning to pack up their books and laptops, and get their bags ready for a quick process of deboarding. The flight attendants packed up their supplies, and went to their stations, wherever that was. I could feel the altitude dropping, putting more and more distance between tranquility and earth. 

The seatbelt and no-smoking signs flashed, and I prepared myself for the landing by taking deep breaths and praying to whoever was listening. Glancing out the window, rows and rows of buildings seemed to move speedily underneath me. Cars drove on wet streets, and people walked the sidewalks adorning umbrellas and raincoats. I became more and more antsy to leave my seat and enter the new world. 

Before I could make any more thoughts, the slew of buildings ended and was replaced with asphalt. The runway ran past my vision, and almost instantly, the plane’s wheels met the earth like an eagle attaching to a branch. The air conditioner whirred, and the flaps on the wing instantly stood up. When I was younger, I used to love watching the wing flaps move up and down during flights. I still got some amusement out of it, I guess. 

Once the plane was to a taxi speed, we were taken to the gate and hitched to the tunnel. I felt my stomach turn inside of me, and my heart instantly increase in tempo. I had forgotten that I was now alone. 

“So,” Ben asked, grabbing his bag and looking at me. “Wanna walk with me to baggage claim?” 

I swallowed hard. “I don’t have bags.”

Ben’s eyes widened a bit. “You don’t have bags? You don’t have anything?” 

I shook my head. “No.” 

Ben bit his lip. “Well, come with me anyways. I can’t let you go out there alone.” 

The man reached out his hand, but I ignored it and stood up, my arms folded over my chest. I followed him through the plane isle, flight attendants telling me goodbye and to enjoy my stay. 

I stayed close to Ben. He was the only person I was remotely comfortable with, and it was because of accidental contact. The airport was bustling with people hurrying to their gates, talking loudly on their cell phones, and businessmen and women carrying Starbucks. A lot of them were wearing suits, or high-heeled shoes. I decided that they were going somewhere important. 

Ben had a messenger bag around his torso, and made sure to keep me close to him. I realized how much taller he was than me. I was a decent 5’8, but Ben had to be 6’3 at the least. He was tall, and had well-kept brown hair. In the morning light on the plane I had noticed that his eyes were a bright blue. It was a peculiar combination: dark hair, and light eyes. 

I was blonde, but I had made sure to use a cheap dye before getting on my flight. My sister was a light brunette, which is what I had tried best to match. I had also cut it to my sister’s length: a couple inches below shoulder-length. Having to adjust to shorter hair in such a small time period was rough. 

I heard my stomach growl, then realizing I hadn’t eaten in two days. The most I’ve had was a bottle of water, which I had taken from my fridge before leaving. 

“So, Arabella,” Ben asked, looking backwards at me. I instantly felt the guilt from stealing my sister’s name. 

“Tell me about you.” 

I stayed silent. I didn’t know whether to tell him about me, or the real Arabella. 

The real Arabella was… gone. 

“I’m 22,” I murmured. I was actually 21, but my sister was 22, and that’s who I was, right? 

“I’m 24, nice to meet you 22.” Ben joked.

I grinned, letting my arms drop to my sides instead of folded over my chest. “And I’m from Newport, Rhode Island.” 

“Really?” Ben asked. “I went to school in Newport before moving to Norfolk.” 

Just saying Newport hurt my throat. Saying the place where I destroyed my life made me want to vomit on the airport floor. 

Newport was where I killed my sister. 

Newport was where I killed my mother.

Newport was where I burnt down my house, with my sister and mother’s dead bodies still inside. Newport was where I cut and dyed my hair, and made the decision to run away. Newport was where I took my sister’s car and drove to Virginia before parking it to never be picked up again. 

Newport was where my life changed forever.

**Author's Note:**

> sooo i started writing this like 3 months ago and i found it really interesting so i continued it so maybe i'll write more????


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